Star on My Forehead

2009-09-24T11:16:00.000-07:00

I love this birdhouse. It doesn't even belong to me, but I love it! It sits on the border of our yard and our neighbor's yard, so we get to enjoy it just as much as they do. Especially now. You see, the greatest thing about this birdhouse is that one day I came outside and saw our neighbor painting just the backside of it these bright and wonderful "Amy" colors. I asked her what she was doing and she told me how the paint was wearing off and looking shabby, so she thought that since we always had to look at the backside of it, she would paint it colors that she knew I loved and would enjoy seeing everyday! I know my neighbor fears color and especially bold colors so I thought this was a very kind and thoughtful act. I absolutely love driving up to my house and seeing not only a birdhouse, but seeing an act of kindness that has brought so much happiness into my life!

2009-08-17T20:39:00.000-07:00

Dear Summer,

It's in the air. There is a strange nostalgia of autumn creeping into my soul and it is trying to steal you away from me. I have tried to live your few months to it's fullest and have filled our schedules with various outdoor family outings, vacations and dining al fresco! Our soil ridden clothing have displayed the countless hours spent toiling in the yard, our hair has reeked of chlorine, the barbeque still shows traces of the numerous meals prepared on it and we have watched several tremendous displays of fireworks that have lit up the night sky. How I love to lay in my hammock with my dirty feet, smelly hair and full belly, and reflect on all the wonderful times we have had with you! These are the days that I will miss when I look out my window in the very near future and see the dreary snow! Summer, you have been so good to us! Thank you for coming to visit. We always hate saying goodbye! Till next year.....

Sincerely,

Your biggest fan, Amy

Praising and Cursing

2009-07-13T16:48:00.000-07:00

I have a love/hate relationship with this dang tree! I love having a large, mature tree in my yard. I love hanging our hammock between it and the pine tree and swinging my cares away. I love having the shade to protect me and the little one while playing. I love the big green leaves that add color and spice to my newly developed yard and watching them change colors with the seasons. I love imagining my son climbing it one day and thinking he is king of the world. BUT.....I hate the millions of apricots it produces and drops to the ground below. I hate having to rake up the soggy mess that lays on the floor EVERYDAY. I hate that if I miss a day, it kills my grass. I hate the billions of birds that feast on the ripe fruit each morning at the crack of dawn and wake the whole neighborhood. I hate that I can't even find 1 good apricot to pick and take to neighbors and friends since they have all been half eaten. I hate the apricot pits that dig into the bottom of my feet when I walk on my grass. Do we cut it down and plant a fruitless tree in it's place or leave it and endure the horrible mess and noise?

Juicy Goodness

2009-07-11T14:43:00.000-07:00

I am a fruits and vegetables kind of gal. Since we don't have our yard completely done yet, we were not able to plant a garden this year. But, luckily for me, our neighbors have a small one and they kindly handed their very first tomato of the season over to me! I can't wait to dice it up and eat it! My favorite summer snack: tomatoes in cottage cheese with a little seasoning! Yuuum! Thank you neighbors!

Let Us Pray

2009-07-07T17:27:00.000-07:00

Meet my new friend! I saw him bounce in front of my feet and I just had to scoop him right up! I love praying mantis'! I think they are fascinating! I held it for about 20 minutes and took a few pictures before I released him/her into the rose bushes where he could feast on aphids and gnats. We didn't have these little creatures where I grew up in Montana so when I moved to Utah and saw one for the first time, I was in awe! I remember being so shocked when I moved around it to examine from each angle and it's head turned and followed me wherever I went. What insect turns it's head?! I have lived here for a little over a decade and these strange insects never cease to amaze me. I look forward to finding them each year and it is just as exciting now as it was the first time I saw one!

Bright Eyes and Blue Skies

2009-07-01T13:58:00.000-07:00

What in the world? Where did May and June go? Could it be that we had such awful weather up until a week ago that I just tuned those 2 months out completely? Or was it that really we were so busy with home projects, birthdays, vacations and working extra shifts that we didn't even know what day it was? Regardless, I am so happy that the dog days of summer are here! It is so refreshing to look up into blue skies and feel the sun greeting my pale skin with a kiss. There are the sounds of a lawnmower running, the smell of the flowers, seeing the baby quail run in tow with it parents and waving my foot in the sprinklers and feel the cold droplets; all to let me know it is officially here. But before I know it, it will be gone. It always seems to go by too fast and I say to myself, "Did I take advantage of it enough?" Here's to living it up this summer and enjoying every heat filled day to it's fullest! I can't wait!

Bye-Bye Baby!

2009-03-29T12:19:00.000-07:00

I brake for estate sales! I love the anticipation of walking into a dead person's home and thinking of all the history that their belongings had and what stories the walls could tell. Yesterday we (I say "we" because I was lucky enough to find a man that enjoys them as much as I do!) went to an estate sale where the lady was a dress maker....for dolls! She had a whole room dedicated to her dolls and their homemade attire! I actually laughed when I walked in because it was such a sensory overload. My amusement was quickly turned to amazement. I was in awe! There were about 1000 dolls staring at me, missing their elderly and deceased mommy, wondering if I was going to adopt them. They were propped up on tables and lined up in rows. I went down the line, touching their soft hair and intricate dresses. If I had a little girl, I would have bought a few and brought them home with me and given them a new life. They were displayed beautifully and it pained me to turn my back on them. I felt like I was betraying them. Under each of tables were numerous boxes of patterns and sewing notions that the elderly women used to clothe her plastic babies. I dug through a few boxes while periodically looking up to stare at them once again. Their painted faces stared back. I gathered up a few items and left the room feeling quite bad. While I love all the vintage lace and rick rack I got, I can't stop thinking where all those dolls are going to go. I hope they find their way into another loving home!

Spring in Bloom

2009-03-23T21:15:00.000-07:00

Spring is in the air! Even though there is a thick blanket of snow on the ground, I know it's right around the corner! I am enjoying the apricot blossoms on my tree today and I am hoping they don't freeze off. Last year the tree was in full bloom for 1 day only before a huge snow storm hit, froze it all and the blossoms fell to the ground. I was so upset! We had a long winter in 2008 and we didn't really get a spring season to enjoy. I remember we went to dinner to celebrate Wes and my birthday with some of our friends last year. We came out of the restaurant wearing our winter coats and running to the car because it was so cold outside. We could see our breath in the night air. That was the middle of May. I am praying that it is not like that this year!

Bad Me

2009-03-03T07:58:00.001-08:00

I am a big fat looser! I really wanted to do this daily photo journal idea and I had every intention of looking back in a year and reviewing the 365 photos that reflected all my thoughts and events of 2009. I get a big thumbs down on my resolution! I let myself down and I have failed! Boooooooo, Hisssssssss! I am going to keep on posting photos and thoughts on here as frequent as I can, becuase I figure at least I am giving it a try and just not quitting alltogether. That way, I figure I get one thumb down and not two!

Rip Roaring Good Time

2009-02-08T22:10:00.000-08:00

We are having a hard time keeping E from climbing on EVERYTHING we own. I am honestly amazed that he is still alive and that he has not had a bad fall and cracked his head open. We do have a slight plan that we devised and it seems to be working pretty good! A couple of years ago my brother in law gave us a "fart machine". It has a remote control that will sound off a good "rip" when activated. I found it the other day when we were cleaning out our basement and started playing with it. When E heard it, he got scared and started crying. It's no wonder since the thing blows at a decibel level that rattles the rooftop! It is SOOO loud! Well, we have now set it by the computer desk which is a big temptation in his life. When I see him crawl up on the chair I quickly grab the remote, press the button and watch the show! The machine lets out a roaring thunderous sound and Emerson falls into the fetal position on the chair and stays motionless while I have a good laugh at his expense! He does not proceed to crawl up on the desk. Am I mean? Nah! At least he's safe. He may need hearing aids in a few years and some therapy, but he's safe!

Lazy Me

2009-02-07T21:45:00.000-08:00

To help myself get out of my rut, I decided to make some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies....kind of. I actually just went to the store and bought a mix. Pathetic, I know! That's how lazy and unmotivated I am right now! I can't even whip up a homemade batch! Wes was gone for the day so without him, I of course am lacking food options and I figure a cookie dinner is the best way to treat the winter blues. Besides, baking in itself always makes me happy! Well, the cookies are not good. I should have just pulled myself together and made my own. Lesson learned: You can't beat homemade! It didn't stop me from eating 4 of them for my dinner and then another 2 before hitting the hay. Nothing like a gut full of crappy cookies to help lull you to sleep! I think I am going to be sick!

Scapegoat

2009-02-06T21:19:00.000-08:00

He cries for it. He is addicted. He can't fall asleep without it.

The pacifier is a must have in E's little life. I know it is our fault as parents because we have shoved the thing is his mouth since the day he was born. It has been a life saver at times. But, it is also going to be hell in our household when the day arrives that we have to take it away. He is only 17 months so I figure we have just a little while longer to let him feed his addiction. He has to have it to fall asleep, but as soon as he is actually asleep, it just hangs there - he doesn't even use it! If I take it out, he wakes up in a panic mode and begs for it! I just wonder what's comforting about having a piece of plastic attached to you at all times? When he tries to say something, the words are mumbled and unrecognizable because he has to use his tongue to keep it in his mouth! Whatever the reason, it must be a good one because this boy is all over it. Starting tomorrow, it comes out of his mouth first thing in the morning. I'll let him have it for nap time and then again at bed time, but he doesn't need to shoot hoops. Aaaaaggghhh! I say that now, but we'll see how far I make it when he starts crying and having a melt down because his plastic appendage is missing!

5 Categories Only!

2009-02-05T21:03:00.000-08:00

I really have been taking pictures every day for this journal even though I haven't been good about blogging them. I am in a rut right now. I know it's the winter blahs and that it will pass but I just am not motivated. I think a part of it has to do with so much of our house not being finished and we have a lot of clutter. I have been trying to organize a new room each week and this week it was the kitchen's turn. I had a manila folder jam packed with recipes that were torn out of magazines and hand written recipes that I copied from friends, families or the internet. Every time I opened the cupboard, the folder would slide and papers would fly to the floor. A few months ago, I went out and bought a cute 3 ring binder, some sheet protectors and some glue. I have been working hard on this beauty! I now have all my recipes organized ever so neatly in here and instead of categorizing them into meats, breads, vegetables, etc...., I organized it by: beverages, appetizers, breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert. It is so much easier finding things this way and my kitchen cupboards are clutter free! Now if I just had the motivation to cook once in awhile!

Cold Stare

2009-02-04T22:44:00.000-08:00

Why is it that I will sit in front of the refrigerator thinking there is absolutely nothing to eat just minutes after returning from the grocery store? I don't know how to create meals from scratch. I don't have the talent to just "whip something up". I have to have a recipe in front of me guiding me through it the whole way. I consider myself a creative person, just not in the kitchen. I don't have a knack for it and I envy those who do. Seriously, if it wasn't for Wes, I would probably starve. He is a really good cook and he enjoys doing it - thank the heavens above! When he goes to work a bit of panic sets in me and I seriously lay in bed in the mornings and deliberate what to do for nourishment for the next 48 hours. I usually just live off PB&J, chocolate pudding, cereal, pasta, cottage cheese and fruit. Carbs and dairy...mmmmmmm! I know that if the more I would cook, the more I would learn, but really what it all just boils down to, is not really wanting to! We have a good system going in our house that whoever cooks (Wes) then the other person (Me) cleans up afterward. And THAT I know I am really good at!

Picky People

2009-02-03T22:02:00.000-08:00

Toothpicks are a must-have in our home. Rarely does Wes go even a few hours without putting one into his mouth. He has an oral fixation and loves to bite on things. I will find gnawed up pieces of toothpick and plastic all over the house! Mainly pen caps. As strange as it is, I find that there is actually something very appealing when he has a toothpick in his mouth. Like it is a symbol of coolness...just like it was in all the old movies! Maybe because it reminds me of my father, who also consistently has one in his mouth along with several on hand if the need arises. Which incidentally, reminds me of his mother, who also consistently had one in her mouth up until the day she passed away. The image of my grandmother sitting back on the sofa, watching TV and thoroughly moving one about in her mouth will be ingrained into my memory forever! It was rare that she did not have one. So I guess when I see Wes with one, it just makes me feel comfortable, at home, and as though he was suppose to be mine - like it was meant to be! I, however, think I will just stick to using toothpicks to test the readiness of my breads and brownies before removing them from the oven!

Zitzilla!

2009-02-02T22:51:00.001-08:00

Why is it that I am 32 and having to use Proactive? My skin has been a nightmare lately and I had to order this. I remember learning at a young age in Sunday School that Satan is the reason for bad things in this world. So when I would crash on my hotwheels, I would blame him. When my barbies went missing, I would blame him. So I am going to just blame my acne on him, too. I think the cold, dry weather is a contributing factor in all this and I also think the cold weather is cruel - so that must mean that Satan is to blame for winter, as well. If having acne wasn't bad enough, I had to open the Proactive brochure to find a picture of Jessica Simpson and be reminded that her and I now have something in common. Nothing like being kicked while you're down!

Not a Fan

2009-02-01T22:23:00.000-08:00

Super Bowl Sunday. What is it good for? For our family, it is the Mexican food and that's pretty much it. We are not big game watchers around here. I consider myself lucky that I married a man who has no interest in this sport whatsoever and even despises it a bit! While most people who are fans of the sport yell and cheer at the TV during a game, I am reminded of when I was a little girl and the thousands of times I would curl up next to my dad and watch the games with him. He would try to explain the game to me, go over the rules and I would fall asleep every time. Hearing the crowd on TV, the announcers, helmets bashing and the faint sound of a band playing fight songs is a lullaby to me. Even to this day, I will tune the TV to a football game just so I can be lulled to sleep. I don't find myself getting excited or sitting on the edge of my seat because of "my" team's status. I find myself grabbing a blanket and settling down for a long winter's nap because there is no "my" team. The sport of football is boring! If E. ever wants to play it, we are screwed. He will be going to the neighbor's house to learn since we are clueless. Hopefully we will be able to sway him towards mtn. biking, rock climbing and snowboarding....REAL sports!

World in Color

2009-01-31T21:45:00.000-08:00

I love color. I don't understand why some people don't. Color makes me smile, it makes me happy and it makes my world go round! Last summer my neighbor asked me to come help her remodel her living room and pick out some colors for her walls. We looked through the sample books from various paint suppliers and she ended up picking a light beige color and then finally deciding that she was keeping the off white sofas she already owned....along with her tan carpet. As much as I tried to talk her into color, she wouldn't have it. My services were useless! As our little family continues to adjust in our home, I am trying to find a good pallet for the master bedroom. The possibilities are endless! For inspiration, I always find myself just flipping through my PMS book (Pantone Matching System...not Premenstrual Symptoms) and daydreaming about how so many of the colors trigger so many memories. When I was 7 I owned a satin jacket in PMS 196. PMS 415 is the color of the house I grew up in. How I love to see the poppies bloom in springtime bursting with the color of PMS 1655. And, how on earth some people in our previous neighborhood could let their house be PMS 3395 for over 20 years!! It's entertaining to think of all that was, and all that could be with color. And as far as my bedroom goes, I am leaning toward PMS 562 with PMS 110!

Bad Hair Day

2009-01-30T21:30:00.000-08:00

My hair is in the in between stage right now. I am trying to grow it back out and this is a difficult phase to endure. It is hideous! It rests on my shoulders thus causing it to automatically curl under and giving me the real sweet "mushroom" look. I have to pull it back each day to avoid sporting the outdated do and just wait for it to grow a few inches. Today I wanted to try something new...something adventurous. I love the vintage look of short hair with luscious locks. My mother just so happens to own a set of hot rollers (also vintage). I have never used them before, but how hard could it be? Obviously very hard. I ended up looking like a complete joke and as though I was attempting to bring the "Shag" back. I laughed hysterically when seeing the final result! Not at all what I had planned! I wanted big, loose curls to pin back on the sides, but instead I got tiny, tight ringlets. When I said vintage, I didn't mean Little House on the Prairie! No more taking matters into my own hands. After all was done and I had a good laugh at myself, I just ended pulling it all back anyway. I did however use a vintage red hair comb. Does that count?

Should Have Stuck With It

2009-01-29T22:39:00.000-08:00

My mother had us all enrolled in piano lessons when growing up. I hung in there for about 1 whole year and at the wise ol' age of 10, I decided it wasn't for me and quit lessons. When my mom said "You're going to regret it when you're older," I thought she was a lunatic. Just so happens that mom's really DO know everything! Now that I am in my early 30's, I look back and find that decision is one I regret. I absolutely love listening to people playing the piano and watching their fingers slide effortlessly over the keys. I envy their talent! I think it would be liberating to play music. I think it would be peaceful and joyous. I think I want to take lessons again. I am inheriting my mother's piano that actually was passed down to her from her great grandmother. I don't want it to go unused and be shamed by my late ancestors since their efforts to bringing it to the states were great. You better believe that I am going to push lessons onto my children! Especially this one, he looks like he has some serious potential!

I quit you.

2009-01-28T21:05:00.000-08:00

For years we would watch the news before going to bed. As Wes would say, "he likes to stay updated on his current events". I guess I watched it because nothing else is on during that time slot and I just figured that's what adults did at night. After years of hearing about multiple murders, drug busts, child molestations and drive by shootings, I decided a couple of months ago to quit watching the news altogether. It was bringing me down. A lot. I became a skeptic of most people thinking no one could be trusted. The news proved that we all suck and it would always ruin my perfectly good day! It would be like being at Disneyland, going on your favorite ride and feeling so happy when suddenly the stranger sharing the seat with you tells you that they have a terminal illness and being there was their dying wish! So, after each news program, I would lie in bed and stress about the condition of this world and how corrupt and evil society is and saddness would prevail. Then I would think about how I was bringing children into it and I would become a nervous wreck thinking of how I can keep my child safe and how horrible it would be if my family was the " news story" of the day. Now, after quitting the news, I have noticed a significant change in my outlook. I have no clue as to what is going on not only in this city, but the state, the nation and even the world....and it is wonderful! And when someone says, "Oh my gosh, did you hear that story about....?" And I can say, "no, I didn't." I love having no idea about the war, about gang violence and home invasions! Some may think that I am just ignorant to not want to know what is going on around us. Oh well. All I know is what I learned from the last news cast I last watched months ago: I don't ever want to live on the west side, that our home needs better locks on the door and that it might be a good idea to get my concealed weapons permit. Oh yeah...and that picketing and holding protests do absolutely no good!

Best Gift Ever!

2009-01-27T21:14:00.000-08:00

This past Christmas I gave Wes this amazing contraption in his stocking! It has been one of the most wonderful things in my life the past little while! What is it? It is a milk frother! It makes a nice thick, foamy layer of milky goodness on the top of your hot beverage! Every night I make myself a cup of hot cocoa, with a few drops of caramel, froth it up and I am in heaven! I just treated myself to a wonderful chocolate beverage that I would otherwise pay big bucks for at a coffee house. And I have! I am a lover of hot cocoa in the evening because it warms me up in a frigid house where the thermostat is controlled by the global warming Nazi (a.k.a Wes), and it settles me down and makes me feel all cozy! Now I can lay myself down and get ready for some sweet dreaming! Ahhhhhhh!

Lost Our Heads!

2009-01-26T23:02:00.000-08:00

We bought this tent for Little E. at Ikea for $10 a few weeks ago. Have we lost our minds? It overtakes every room we put it in and there really is no place to keep it but we manage because he loves it. Or is it because we love it? We find ourselves in it just as much as the kiddo! I feel like I have reverted back to my childhood when I go inside! I like the feel of being in a little fun space, covered and hidden! I like to remember when I was a litttle kid and all the forts I used to make. Blankets would go missing for hours just to make a secret hiding place somewhere! I actually find myself playing with a lot of my child's toys more than he does. Some make me laugh, some perplex me and some are just cuddly. Why do we keep buying him all these things we don't have room for? Because WE like them!

Gone Johnson

2009-01-21T22:01:00.000-08:00

We are leaving tomorrow for St. George, UT and I am really looking forward to the time away. It has been a long time since we left town. Even though St. George may not be the ideal vacation destination, I know we are still going to have a great time hanging out with our friends, relaxing and watching the kids play. Usually when Wes and I take a vacation, we jam pack it full of spontaneous events and activities. I think this little trip is going to be just the opposite - very low key, very effortless and just what I need! There is just something about getting out of town for a few days that is rejuvenating! It's always nice to leave but it also feels really good to come back after a much needed break! Bon voyage!

Renewed

2009-01-20T19:58:00.000-08:00

I wept as I watched the inauguration of our new President today. It was a historic day and one that will be written in the history books, and for all people, a story to be passed down to generations. I lived to see it! Today's events have changed the face of the nation forever. Listening to President Obama's inaugural address, I found myself feeling uplifted with a new sense of hope and eagerness for days to come. I had Emerson sitting on my lap during some of it and I just looked in his face and thought about how this one moment, this one decision by the people of the United States of America, this one President would affect his life. Because they will! My favorite part of his speech was this:

"We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness."

My grandparents can tell stories about living through the Great Depression, life during WWII, and watching man land on the moon for the first time. I used to wonder what stories I would be able to tell my grandchildren, what amazing things happened in my lifetime that I could share. "I had the first ipod!" Weeeee! Well, now I have a story!

Gut Ache

2009-01-19T22:21:00.000-08:00

Just keeping it real thanks to the gigantic brownie sundae I just ate!

I think God sent me to this earth to prove to the world that just because someone is thin, doesn't necessarily mean that they look good in a swimsuit! I realize that for the most part, I am a slender person. I never really have had to watch what I eat...until now. All growing up I was made fun of horribly and was teased about my weight. I have even come to HATE the term"skinny" when referring to someone. I think it's derogatory and has a negative tone to it. You don't call a heavy person "fat" and you don't call a thin person "skinny". I was ridiculed just as much as the kids who were overweight. They made me feel gross and ugly. I was told that I looked disgusting, I was accused of having eating disorders and I was called names. It affected my self esteem and it hurt. I would eat really fattening foods just to gain a few pounds so the other girls wouldn't make comments and I could look as good as they did in their Guess jeans! Of course as I got older, I got over it and learned to appreciate my body. BUT, I have developed bad habits from my youth and I got used to being on a "fat diet" all my life, that it has now taken a toll on my body. Now that I am well into my 30's I still eat like I need to gain the weight but the calories are being deposited in all sorts of areas on me and gravity is my worst enemy! I can't maintain that kind of diet anymore and am looking for a healthier way to eat. I want to work out again and I want to be active, but I am afraid of loosing weight and looking like a stray dog or "skinny", as they say. I just want to tone and look healthy, minimize some bulges and as does everyone else. I have thought about writing Oprah or Tyra hoping they can help and showing the tables being turned for once! I am a gelatinous thin person and it is creeping me out! Is there a way for me to exercise and not looking like a crack addict as a result?

Blessing or Curse?

2009-01-18T22:36:00.000-08:00

What to do, what to do? E. has never been one to attach himself to things (except his pacifier). Not his bottle, not a teddy bear or blanket, not even me. He won't even play with something for more than 2 minutes at a time. He tires of toys easily and moves on to better things effortlessly. He also never gets bored and can find amusement in most things...for a very short period of time.

Until now.

Grandma Roxy bought this basketball hoop for him a few days ago and I have seen an obsession/determination in my child that I have never before seen! It is a non-stop go at throwing the ball at the hoop (never making a basket) and of course making mom give it a try every so often, as well. From the minute he wakes up, until we lay him down at night, he is trying his best to make that basket. I love that he has finally found something that keeps him busy, active and happy.

Here's the problem.

He wakes up in the middle of the night wanting to play. He stands at his crib - crying, pointing to the door. At first, not knowing what was wrong with him at 2:00 a.m., I picked him up to console him and took him to the door where he was pointing. He then pointed down the hall to the basketball hoop standing in the living room and smiled. Back to his bed he went and I just let him cry it out. 20 whole minutes of pure sadness flooded our home. I felt bad for him but really I had to laugh about it! Who hasn't in their life woken up with a craving of some sort? Mine is usually food related, where his is more...well...different!

Dreaming

2009-01-17T22:07:00.000-08:00

Someday I would just like to lay in bed all day long. Not to sleep, but to daydream. I want all the blankets fluffed up around me. I want BOTH down pillows. I don't want the TV on. I don't want my cell phone on. I would even love it if Wes and E. wanted to lay in bed with me. They would just have to be quiet so that I could daydream. And, if I happen to fall in and out of consciousness, that would be fine. Then I could dream-dream. That's where all the fun is! I am someone that never gets bored because I can always daydream. Antsy, yes, but never bored. I spend a lot of time in my head and I like it there. It keeps me busy. I would like to spend a lot of time in my head, in my bed. I love my bed. I love my head.

Behind

2009-01-16T13:53:00.000-08:00

I have a lot of catching up to do on my magazine reading. They are stacking up and taking up way too much room! I have time to read them, but I just forget. Then when another one comes in the mail I feel like it's almost a burden. "Are they rabbits or magazines," I say to myself! I know I have created a large sin when several of my issues are still in the plastic wrapping. Martha would be so disappointed! I don't even really "read" the magazines as much as I just love looking at pictures, cutting them out for inspiration and daydreaming. I have decided to only renew 2 of my subscriptions this year. I will ALWAYS subscribe to Martha Stewart because I heart her magazine so very much. I will also be getting a free subscription to Domino because my mother bought me their decorating book for Christmas (which is a MUST have!) which comes with a free 1 yr. subscription. Hopefully this will help with the problem. Also, I am on the hunt for new bedside lights. Mine is broken and it is the OCD in me to buy 2 complete new one's so that they both match. This way I can read in bed at night while Wes watches Cosby reruns and I can tune it all out and submerge myself into periodical heaven once more!

Buddies!

2009-01-15T21:53:00.000-08:00

The temperature reached a high of 45 today with clear skies! It seemed like a good day to go to the park with Little E. The park we went to has a long and winding sidewalk that weaves through trees, baseball fields and the playground. I got out the stroller and was very much looking forward to some fresh air and light exercise. What didn't make any sense to me was that the sidewalks were covered in ice and snow which made it nearly impossible to walk on let alone pushing a stroller yet no snow on the grass! We bagged the idea of a nice stroll and headed toward the playground. It was then that I remembered being pregnant with him and wondering what it was going to be like being a mother. I had created different scenarios in my mind of all the activities we were going to do together. I think all mother's do that just to help make it all more real. Then it hit me that the moment we were living right there at the park was one that I had imagined 2 years ago! I remember daydreaming about what it would be like to hold his tiny hand and walk around the park with him, showing him all the exciting things to see. I remember wondering if he could understand what I was saying and if he would know the meaning. I also remember envisioning myself buttoning up his coat, fixing his little hat so that his ears would be protected and blowing on his hands to keep them warm. It was very surreal for me to actually be doing it! It tugged at the heartstrings a little bit because I also remember thinking about him going off to the first day school, his first broken heart, and trying to teach him how to drive! Time goes by too quickly and I just want so many more of these days!

Planted

2009-01-14T21:08:00.000-08:00

There is a sprig of my euonomys bush thriving in a vase on our bathroom sink. It has been there for 6 months! I look at it everyday and admire it's beauty and the symmetry of it's leaves. When I cut the branch, never did I imagine it would last this long. I thought I would have to change it out after about a week and that the leaves would slowly start to whither and fall off. I was wrong. This eager little plant has not only sustained months of "bathroom air", but it has set root in the vase. I was shocked when I pulled it out and saw new life forming at the base of the stem! Never does it see sunlight, I hardly ever water it, and like I said, it's quality of air is questionable. It brought to mind a sang that my mother has always said: "Bloom where you are planted". I thought if this ambitious evergreen can do it, so can I! Like this sprig, Wes and I may not have the most desirable of living conditions, nor do we have everything that we really need at this time, but we have made the best of it. We too have planted roots here in our home and have worked hard to make it ours, even though we know it's temporary. So I guess that no matter our circumstances, we can always make the best of it and see the beauty in all things. I can choose to see the wide open space in our living room from lack of furniture or I can choose to see a stellar dance floor and play area for our son! That vase was half full and so is my short little glass.

Feeling It

2009-01-13T13:54:00.000-08:00

Today I went ice skating and was struck with the realization that I am 2 things. Totally out of shape AND getting old. How did this happen! I am walking around like a 90 yr. old woman! As much fun as it was, It was insult to injury! Really though, I had a great time and it was so much fun getting out of the house for a few hours! I also realized how much I missed trying new things and being more spontaneous. It felt good to "play". Wes and I are really good about not being "home-bodies" and try to do fun things, but it's usually things within our comfort zone. Ice skating is completely out of my element and it was fun to indulge myself in it for a few hours! So as my body is feeling old, my spirit is feeling youthful and that is a good feeling!

Spring Fever

2009-01-12T21:48:00.000-08:00

It's started.
The inversion has set in along the Wasatch Front which means that my deep longing for sunshine and green grass has set in, as well. I went to Target today and all winter clothes have vanished from the sales floor and spring attire has moved in it's place. Everywhere I turned "they" were there, starring me in the face: shorts, swimsuits, sandals and even patio furniture! It's not fun buying items that just have to be stored away for 3 months! I am not a depressed person and I try to stay positive for the most part, but the months of January-March can bring me down. I actually don't mind the snow and even think it's really pretty outside when there is a fresh layer of white on the ground. It's when a brown haze hovers over the valley and prevents the sun from making an appearance while the dirty snow is able to camouflage dog crap. It's as though my eyes loose the ability to see color because when I look outside, everything is just different shades of gray. Bleak, dreary, blah. It's quite strange how an actual physical feeling takes place and I can feel my heart ache for brighter skies and the sound of a running lawn mower! Here's to hoping for a short winter!

Better for Us!

2009-01-11T23:12:00.000-08:00

Even though little E. is not 18 months yet, he went into nursery for the first time all by himself today! For the past 16 months, I have been taking him to all the meetings with me and he just got to be like another appendage on me. He was always at my side and was my little buddy since Wes had to go teach primary (the 11 yr. olds...all boys...yikes!!). Then he started to crawl and things got a little more difficult, but not too bad. Luckily our Sunday School class and the woman in R.S. were very understanding and even helped entertain him! Then he started walking and the 3 hour time slot was a joke. A toddler quiet and occupied for 3 hours!? Yeah, right! For the past couple of weeks, we would make it through Sacrament and Sunday School fairly well and the third hour I would take him into the nursery but stay with him so he wasn't just an extra kid that had to be watched. He really enjoyed the toys, snacks and socializing. My 2 friends have callings in the nursery and told me to just start bringing him in and dropping him off for the 2 hours so that I could go and enjoy my meetings. I was a little hesitant at first because he is still so young. But, today I kissed him goodbye, hoped for the best and attended my meetings. I could not believe how many things I learned today just because I could listen to the teachers...I mean, really listen! Church was AMAZING today! Emerson and I both like it this way so much better! He did great all by himself in the nursery and had such a good time playing instead of being corralled with limited mobility. So many thanks to my friends for making today an enjoyable and educational one!

Surrounded

2009-01-10T14:28:00.000-08:00

I love where I live. Wes so badly wants to take me out of Utah and transplant me in the Northwest, but I just can't do it. I don't want to leave for 2 reasons:
1) My family is pretty much all here (someday Shon, just you wait!)
2) THESE MOUNTAINS!

Even though I did not grow up in this state, it did not take me long after I moved here to appreciate my surroundings and feel very attached to Utah. I fell in love with the mountains and always felt a sense of security with them around me. I try to make an effort everyday to look to the west and take in the beauty of these Rocky Mountains. They are something I do not ever want to take for granted. Growing up in Montana, my family used to spend a lot of time in the mountains hiking, fishing and camping, so naturally, I developed a love for the outdoors at a very young age. Some of my favorite childhood memories are from our family camping trips! When I moved here I picked up more outdoor activities such as snowboarding, mtn. biking and rock climbing. But, since we have had little E. I have not been able to enjoy the mountains like I used to. Tiny babies and outdoor activities usually don't mix and that is o.k. He is worth the sacrifice! But, I do miss them. I want to make it a point this year to enjoy them once again and to take advantage of them. E. will be a little older this summer and I am so excited to take him on walks to see a running stream, the scattering of fish when they see you coming and just how tall a pine tree can get and if you touch it, your fingers can get sticky. I want my children to have the experiences that I did and to learn to appreciate nature, to enjoy nature and most importantly to respect nature.

Say Our Prayers

2009-01-09T17:30:00.000-08:00

After watching President Elect Obama yesterday on the news and hearing his warning of this nation's future, I couldn't help but feel a little uneasy and worried about what is to come. America is in an economic crises and according to the new President it is only going to get worse. The nation faces an alarming unemployment rate at 7.2% and has seen the highest home foreclosure percentage in decades. The rate of bankruptcies, business failures, crime and even suicides have skyrocketed. The one thing that brought hope and peace of mind was knowing that my husband has a recession proof job and that no matter what is going on in the world, there will always be a need for a man in uniform! We know we are so fortunate to be in the position that we are in, with a good job, zero debt and a modest and affordable house payment. We are not people who live above our means, we don't have the want for material things or the "keep up with the Jones's" mentality. I am so appreciative of how Wes handles our finances and has made such wise decisions to keep us financially secure. I tease him about being so frugal at times, but I know that he does it for our best interest. He is a hard working man and a wonderful provider for our family. I feel so fortunate that in these difficult times, I am still able to be at home with our little boy and not out in the business world trying to make ends meet. We live a simple life - a good life. We laugh a lot, love a lot and hopefully with all that, we can make it through this!

Altering my Attitude

2009-01-08T21:50:00.000-08:00

I really don't mind doing most of the chores around the house. Actually, I would rather I do them because that way I know it gets done right. Let's be honest. Men just don't clean or put things away like a woman does! Admittedly, there are a few chores that I really dread and that I pretty much despise doing. I really dislike doing the dishes. Even though we have the dishwasher that came with the house, it works badly so all dishes pretty much need to be washed before they are...well, washed. They tend to pile up on somedays and I finally break down when I don't have a clean bowl for my Cap'n Crunch. Another thing that piles up in our home only to validate my pure distaste for it is the mending. For some reason I find it to be menial, tedious and frustrating. I know sewing a button back on a shirt should be no big deal, but it's the zippers, the hems and the waistbands that need to be altered or the sweater that needs to be hand washed and laid to dry so it doesn't loose shape or pill. I would have such a larger wardrobe if I got all my alterations done! These past few days I have been wearing a lot of cotton T-shirts. Not only are they comfortable and Wes loves it when I rock a good T-shirt but they can also be slept in and worn all the next day AND but they don't need buttons!

Oh please, like you have never slept in clothes then wore them around all the next day?

Lucky

2009-01-07T21:12:00.001-08:00

Well, I thought it was finally time to take it all down. Christmas is officially over at the Holme's house. I can't say I'm happy about it, either. Our tree was so incredibly dry and brittle that I thought the friction caused by me taking the ornaments off were going to spark a flame! Pine needles everywhere! I love my ornaments and my decorations. Especially the handmade one's. Some made by me, some by friends or family members, but these are my most favorite!

I adore hitting garage sales and estate sales. Thankfully Wes does too! While testing our luck one Saturday morning, driving from house to house in hopes that we find a diamond in the rough; I found them! I couldn't believe no one else had snatched them up - and the whole box for only $3! I couldn't help but express such excitement to the lady who was hosting the sale. I just babbled on about how amazing they were and I could feel myself getting very worked up and my blood rushing from being so elated. She said her mother made them over 30 years ago. She thought I was crazy for even wanting them with them being so "outdated"! I thought she was crazy for thinking I was crazy. You see, Wes and I are not "lucky" people. We don't ever win things, we don't ever stumble on good deals and we don't ever have things fall into our lap. We have been dealt a short hand at times and it sucks. One time we did, however, find an upholstered Eames chair in front of someone's house ready to be picked up by the garbage man. We were ecstatic! We both turned to each other and said, "Things like this don't ever happen to us!" So I guess, when I look at these handmade ornaments, not only do I think about all the hard work that went into making them and how I think they are so incredibly pretty, but about how I felt when I happened upon them, how I could feel my heart sing and how I felt rather lucky that day!

Neglected

2009-01-06T17:22:00.000-08:00

Are you kidding me!? Have I really gotten this pathetic?

This is so sad! My winter toes have come to visit and I didn't even invite them! Calloused, dry, brittle, paint flaking away.....It's really all my fault, though. I just don't take enough time to pamper myself. When I have a spare moment, I usually utilize it by catching up on my reading, taking naps or crafting. Wes is always really good about taking the baby out and about so that I can just have a break and relax since it's a little harder when he is away at work and I have to be a single mom for 48 hours at a time - which means no "me" time at all! I now know what I will be doing when E. falls asleep tonight and Wes is off saving lives and playing hero! I will be giving myself pretty toes and playing princess! :)

2009-01-05T14:52:00.000-08:00

January 1st

My Vice and My Friend

I brought in the new year with one of these. I don't have an addictive personality nor am I one who gives in to cravings or urges. I don't feel the need to gamble when in Vegas, I don't feel the need to look at a catastrophic car accident on the side of the road and I don't feel like I need to eat the whole pan of freshly baked brownies. HOWEVER, this drink brings me closer to an addict and makes me feel more mentally weak than I ever thought possible! I have awoke at 3:00 a.m. wishing I had one and I have braved storms to get one. I even saw a guy toss a half drunken bottle of it into the trash and felt my heart sink to the pit of my stomach. The audacity of that hideous man! XXX Vitamin Water was my new best friend from 2008 and I can guarantee it will be sticking around for this new year. Don't be fooled by the XXX gimmick. Triple the antioxidants still allowed me to have 3 colds in a 2.5 month period of time. Here is to my con of a BFF and a great 2009!

January 2nd

Good Mornings

I absolutely love going into Little E's room in the morning to get him out of his crib and finding this. Each morning he wakes up and pulls the picture of Wes and Me off his nightstand and studies it and talks to it. It brings a huge smile to my face and is a great way to start my day!

Also on this day, I found myself wanting to get a little more organized for the new year. For the past 2 years, we have been remodeling our house and have lived with the order of our home in a state of "getting by". I started with E's room. I rearranged his furniture and organized his drawers and closet. It was so much harder than I expected and I found myself getting emotional! I had to take down all the "baby" items, clothes that were too small and toys that were "too juvenile" to him, and put them in storage. His room is now very toddler-tastic! This past year went by so quickly! He was just a tiny baby this time last year and now he is running everywhere, mimicking our every move and proving his independence. He is so much fun to watch and I LOVE him so very much!

Down with the mobile - the robot is staying!

January 3rd

New Tricks

On this day I also decided to learn how to make shadow puppets! I have mastered the rabbit and the swan.

I think it is so fun learning new things, even when they are meaningless yet entertaining! I don't even think a lonely elderly person at an assisted living home would be entertained by this as much as I am!

Vitamin Water AND Myself are my BFF's.

January 4

Cozy and Warm

I love so many things in life! This has to be one of the top 10! I heart laying in bed with Wes at night, slippers on and the goodness of goose feathers all around me! We usually watch movies as part of our nightly routine, but last night we listened to 80's and 90's music and had to tell each other what memory the song reminded us of! Most slow songs from the 90's reminded me of church dances!

January 5th

Lazy Day

I still haven't taken down the Christmas decorations. Not even the tree. I don't want to either. we got such a late start decorating this year that they really haven't been up that long. The month of December went by so fast and I didn't get to enjoy it as much as I would have liked to. Today I just found myself starring at all the ornaments and figurines adorning my festive house and making chocolate chip oatmeal cookies instead.